Open Letter to Bad Drivers

I’ve experienced two incidents on Alabama roads since this summer, including this very morning, that make me find the need to write an open letter.  Particularly, an open letter to shitty drivers.  I’m not saying Michigan is devoid of bad drivers or that all Alabama drivers are bad; I’m just sick of dealing with people who can’t freaking drive properly.  So here are some helpful rules for drivers who need to go back to driving school.

Rule #1: Use Your Fucking Turn Signal

I don’t know why people have such a hard time with this.  The whole point of the turn signal is to let people know what you intend to do on the road.  So use your signal if you intend to change lanes.  Or intend to merge.  Or intend to turn.  If other drivers don’t know what you’re doing (which btw people aren’t psychics, crazy right?) that’s when bad things happen.  The whole point of the turn signal is for everyone to be aware of what people are doing on the road.

Rule #2: Put Your Phone Down

Let me put it this way: is telling someone “hey” as important as your life? No.  End of freaking discussion.  You don’t need to be texting, or even talking on the phone if it is going to be a major distraction to your driving.  Texting, we obviously know is a major enough distraction because you’ve got one hand (at least) not on the wheel and unless you can text perfectly without looking (doubtful) then your eyes are also not on the road.  It’s not worth it.  No text message is worth your life unless you’re the president, in which case you don’t drive your own car.

Rule #3: Life Is About Taking the Scenic Route

I know how important it can be to get somewhere.  But taking drastic measures because you might miss your exit is not an excuse for your behavior.  Particularly in the case of this morning, in which the driver could easily have gotten off and the next exit and made three turns to get back on the desired road.  I hate getting lost, but since GPS isn’t always accurate and I don’t know all the roads in this city (I’m not Sherlock, damn) it is inevitable.  If you have to take the long route, it isn’t as bad as putting someone else’s life in danger.

Rule #4: If Tired, Pull Over

One of the worst car accidents I’ve ever been in was because someone fell asleep at the wheel.  I understand being tired and the desire to just get home, because I’ve been in situations where I had cold air blowing on my face and music turned to high heaven for me to stay alert.  But if you really feel you can’t keep your eyes open or find yourself having long slow blinks, pull over your car.  Call a taxi or friend to come and get you.  It’s a sucky situation especially when you’re exhausted and just want to be home, but it is safer to rely on someone else than to put your life and the lives of all other drivers at risk.

Rule #5: Don’t Drive Drunk/Tipsy

This is obvious.  But at the same time, not entirely obvious.  You know when you’re drunk.  And you know not to drive when you’re drunk.  Most people abide by this, though some don’t.  But what less people abide, and even I’m guilty of this, driving while tipsy.  I’ve only ever done this twice.  But I felt terrible about it.  I really shouldn’t have been driving; I would have at least been very close to the limit and maybe over.  The problem is that I don’t always feel tipsy when I go to leave, but realize it after the fact.  So again, pull over and call a taxi or a friend to come get you.  It just isn’t worth the risk.

So you may (or may not) be wondering what actually happened this morning on the road.  For anyone who knows the area of the Bham, you’ll probably know which section of road I’m distinctly talking about.  Every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday morning, I get up early (asscrack of dawn) and have to drive a specific way to work.  I get on 65 North, and eventually merge onto 459 South (though it runs more southwest).  Once on 459, I pass the exit for 31 and immediately after take the off ramp for the mall.  Now, the exit for 31 and the sign and exit for the mall are not that far apart.  Well I was in the right lane getting ready to get off at my exit and a car in the lane to the left of me, swerved in front of me to make the exit for 31.  There were two lanes to my right, designated for the exit at 31.  So at least three lanes covered by the swerving.  He’s lucky I have good brakes, because he was less than one car length in front of me.  I’m also lucky no one was behind me.  This idiot didn’t have his/her signal on at all, but just jerked over to make the exit.  Anyone from the area knows that all he/she needed to do was take the next exit and drive around the mall to get back to 31.  But instead, the idiot driver swerved, putting my life and his/her life at risk.  I don’t know if the driver was drunk (it was just after 4 am on a Sunday) or just stupid, but I’m sick of my life being put in compromising positions by other drivers.  People need to stop being such selfish drivers and consider the other people on the road.

I’ve said my piece, so now I’m going to try and relax and enjoy something today since I’m still on edge.  Please be considerate of other people on the road, and learn to focus on your driving habits, not your textual communication.  I know I will appreciate it.