Monday, January 11, 2016

New Year, Newish Me, Same Old Judgment

I'm not usually one for resolutions except in the most recent years.  While I hate to create a standard for myself that could be devastating when I fail, I also like challenging myself.  Which to me is the whole point of a resolution.  Sure I might fail, anyone might fail.  But it is about the fact that I'm trying.  I want to try.  I've failed in the past.  I might fail now.  But I'm trying.

So here's why I am pissed as all hell.  I've been unsatisfied by my physical appearance for a while.  I love my body and who am I in it, but I also know I'm not as healthy as I could be.  I need to lose weight and tone up, back to what I used to be.  I tried for a while to do it at home but I realized I couldn't do it.  I need support around me.  I was at my healthiest when I was working out with my roommates in college.  Being alone doesn't work for me.  So I decided to join a gym.  Cliche, I know.  But when working out at home doesn't do it, you go somewhere that it does.

Dear people who are already gym members and bitch about waiting for machines or having a packed gym, please shut the fuck up.  Choosing to better myself and join a gym was difficult in the first place.  Do you have any idea the affect you have on a person's self esteem when you complain about how deserving you are of the gym and others aren't?  My self esteem is already weak and I struggle with it.  I understand the frustration of a sudden influx of people in your usual environment, but everyone is just as deserving of improving themselves as you are.

All I ask is to please take in mind what each person might be thinking or feeling about being at the gym.  They might hate themselves.  They could be trying to lose weight to stave off diabetes.  Maybe they lost a family member to a heart attack and are scared of facing the same fate.  Maybe they are even jealous of how you look and wish they could look the same.  Everyone struggles and everyone can take efforts to fix themselves.  Please stop judging those that do.