Saturday, August 13, 2011

What the Duck?

How I Met Your Mother is one of my favorite shows. The witty dialogue, infectious brand of humor, and stellar cast combination (NPH rules) create an intoxicating pleasure to view. In an episode I watched again recently, Robin, Ted, Lily, and Marshall were debating Rabbit vs Duck. Which animal is better? Marshall (much to my enjoyment because I love Jason Segel) said that rabbits were obviously better than ducks. The three others disagreed and wouldn't let it go until he conceded their point. This is where I say: WHAT THE DUCK? Rabbits are by far the better animal than ducks and here are the reasons why.

1) Which animal's foot do you carry for good luck? While I don't support the slaughter of poor bun-buns for their feet, they are good luck charms. How nasty would it be to carry around a duck's foot? People would probably question your involvement in animal sacrifice.

2) Which animal is more cuddly? While importance in cuddliness or quality of the cuddle is not the best way to make decisions (except in boyfriend choosing), I would not snuggle with a duck. Their feathers are oily and they smell. Rabbits on the other hand would be delightful to snuggle with for a while. They are amazingly soft.

3) Which animal is nicer? Ducks are mean. Seriously. They bite you and squawk annoyingly. Do rabbits make annoying noises? No.

4) Which animal has more normal sex organs? Duck penis. Google it. I dare you.

5) Which animal has a better sex catchphrase? You don't hear people saying "Doing it like ducks." #4 is the reason why.

So in conclusion, ducks suck. Rabbits rule all. And with enough sex, they'll overtake us. But they seem like they would be pleasant overlords.


Meredith said...

Also, ducks are necrophiliacs and occasional gang rapists. True story. RABBITS FOREVER!

Cheree said...

Yes but, ducks fare much better in floods. Just sayin.

Le Blue Dude said...

It's very unlucky to carry a duck foot in europe: It would signify that you were a Cagot, and thus less than human.

(Cagots were an ethnic group in France that was forced to carry duck's feet so that they could be identified and discriminated against)