Sunday, November 20, 2016

A Poem of Epic Emotional Proportions

I wrote this poem today because this past week has been really emotional for me.  I don't want to explain why but in summary, I feel like a pathetic loser who is unwanted.  Some people reading this will know what I'm talking about, and some won't.  In short, dating sucks.  I feel weak and dumb for caring as much as I do, but I do and now I'm dealing with my own stupidity.  I'm really looking forward to shutting myself into my new house and not coming out.   But here is what I wrote today.  I appreciate good will but I'm really not looking to talk about the situation.  It hurts too much right now.

Topaz eyes contain crystalline waters,
Deep the waters go.
While the surface seems calm,
Below, whirlpools rage and the storm feels uncontrollable.
The soft flesh of the beating heart within,
Holding everything together,
While always feeling like falling apart.
Fighting, fighting for every breath and every moment
To know that it is worth it,
But feeling loneliness creep inside as darkness spreads its fine tendrils.
Waiting and hoping and wondering,
If anyone will love me.
I try to hold myself together and know
That I am beautiful and worth it and strong.
But as the trees shed their leaves in the crisp fall air,
So the layers of protection slip away,
As the fight to remain positive becomes harder.
To wait for someone to think

Maybe I’m someone worth fighting for.

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