Book Club: January

Since moving to Birmingham in June, I have been swept up with new friends, a new job, and continuing my Master’s. All of these things have kept me busy, but also left me missing something. While I adore the new girls I met and the AMAZING times we’ve had, I had nothing that was solely for myself. Being the introvert that I am, meeting people can be overwhelming but also completely rewarding. With things in my life finally reaching a decent homeostasis (thank heavens) I knew I wanted to do something for myself that would be intellectually rewarding as well as push my boundaries a bit.

Enter: Book Club.

Just before I left Birmingham to go home for Christmas, I decided to find a book club. The first one I looked at was the Hoover Public Library. I knew that it would not be far from home. But with my odd schedule (working security can really bite sometimes) I would need to find one to fit my weird schedule. The first one I looked at was the first Thursday of every month, and that seemed good except I would have to go to the meeting the day after driving 12 hours back to B’ham. I was not having that. But there was also a second Thursday of every month, so I decided to investigate that further. When I noticed that the Great Gatsby was on the reading list, I was sold.

This past Thursday was the very first meeting. I had ordered the book on Amazon and couldn’t wait for it to arrive. And then once I did, I found myself procrastinating doing other things (no shock there). But being the avid and quick reader that I am, I was able to get it read on one of my days off and finish it the evening before book club.

The novel is the first published by Michel (pronounced Michelle) Stone. She had previously had several short stories published and never considered writing a novel until attending a writer’s conference. The novel, the Iguana Tree, follows the experience of Hector and Lilia, a couple with an infant, as they come into the United States illegally. The two have very different experiences when they cross separately including the abduction of their young daughter Alejandra.

Stone’s perception of immigration came from a nonpolitical place. The story of Hector and Lilia is instead a tale weaved out of the experiences of real people who made the journey into America for a better life. When asked about her political ideas or solution for the issues, Stone deflects and maintains that she is an author setting out to tell a story, not harbor political undertones.

To me, the book’s main message is that when deciding to follow your dreams, step carefully. There is good and evil everywhere in the world, and if you do not watch your step someone could find a way to take advantage of you.

I’ve decided not to delve further into book details, instead leaving it up to you to decided to read the book and see Hector and Lilia’s fate for themselves. What I can do is go on more about book club and the lovely Michel Stone.

So I get to book club, not really knowing what to expect. In the room is around 20 women. Of varying ages, mainly older. Not many young people are available on a Thursday morning from 10 am to noon! But we sit down and begin discussing the book, and to my joy and wonderment, we are actually going to skype the author! We divvy up questions to ask her to further discussion as well as any questions we want to pose ourselves. I was besotted.

So we skyped the lovely Michel and got to hear about her experiences in writing the book and what she plans on doing next (very excited for her next novel). I was able to approach her from the standpoint of a fellow writer and ask how to get my procrastinating butt (common theme in the novel that is my life) moving and how to develop a good writing process for myself. I even found a compatriot next to me who is also a writer and we exchanged information in the hopes of setting a time to write together, making it less likely to procrastinate when you have a comrade with you in the trenches. I left book club with a huge smile on my face, and then called my mom to gush about the wonderful experience. The gushing went on for around 20 minutes! Needless to say, I am very excited about tackling the next book, although it will have to wait while I tackle some of my unread books currently overwhelming my bookcase.

Musical Revertigo

Every once in awhile, a song will play or I will reread a book or even think about a time in my life and that action will connect in my brain to something else. And I will begin thinking about that something else. If you’ve seen most of How I Met Your Mother, you’ve probably seen the episode in which they discuss revertigo-named by Marshall as such it is the experience of someone acting like their old self around someone from the past. Lily sees her high school friend Michelle and becomes more ghetto. Ted sees his high school friend Adam “Punchy” Punchiarello and he becomes more pushy and violent. Robin sees her old high school flame and she is transformed into a googly-eyed teen. I have somehow in my brain transformed this phenom to attach itself to music.

Senior year of high school can be a very magical time, as well as a stressor for a need of caffeine. That was the year I started drinking coffee regularly. And unfortunately for my wallet, there was a coffee place on the way to school that had a drive thru. Of course, I was just starting with coffee so I couldn’t actually drink real coffee. I had to get the froofy drinks. My poor wallet! This was the same time I had gotten the How to Save a Life album from the Fray. The distance to school was short so I only really listened to the first few songs. But to this day, that album reminds me of driving to school in the dark and sipping overly priced “coffee.”

Freshman year of college, I had not gotten an ipod yet and was using a dinky mp3 with minimal space on it, which limited my musical selections. The few albums I had installed became what I listened to over and over again, until I got sick of it and switched out albums. Two albums stick out that which when I hear them, immediately throw me back to Freshman year. I can remember walking to class, having lunch in Fresh Foods, and spending ample time curled up in bed reading. Paolo Nutini’s These Streets immediately makes me think of fall. His soft sounds and slightly raspy voice call to mind changing leaves and comfy blankets. The other album is the Transformers soundtrack. The eclectic group of artists on that album offered a more aggressive tune than the smooth sounds of Paolo. It was my “I’m frustrated with my professors” music.

Also Freshman year was two significant discoveries, strangely enough offered to me by the same person. Almost at the same time was I introduced to the artist Breaking Benjamin and the book series Twilight, by none other than Rachel DeWitt. To this day, their album Phobia has distinct lines that make me think of scenes from Twilight. And whenever I reread the series, I get serious hankerings to listen to Breaking Benjamin.

Sophomore year of college I started watching the show Supernatural, and the show has a music base of classic rock. I was already a fan of AC/DC, but the show’s love of the band increased my love for them as well. I ended up going through episodes and picking out classic rock songs that I either owned or wanted to own and created a Supernatural playlist. Now, whenever I hear those songs, I immediately think of the specific episode they are played in and how much I would love to run around the country hunting ghosties.

Lastly, one album and one specific song remind me of one of my favorite trips I’ve ever taken. On the airplane on the way to Ireland, I fell asleep listening to Civil Twilight’s debut album. I had already listened to it repeatedly, and finally just let myself wear out. Sadly enough, I still didn’t get much sleep on the plane. Not enough room + children behind me + children across from me + not much sleep = cranky Alex. Later on in my adventures around the emerald isle, the group of us took a bus ride to Cork (heehee, in Ireland when they say it, it sounds like cock). From Cork we went to Blarney, where I kissed the stone. But on that bus ride, I practically listened to Tom Petty’s Last Dance with MaryJane on repeat. So to this day, hearing that song puts me back on that miserable bus ride (is there any long bus ride that isn’t miserable?) and I’m back in Ireland for a spell. That song still has the power to make me hit repeat and play it over and over again, like no other song does.

These instances, though there are more (Miles Davis reminds me of my dad; Huey Lewis and the News reminds me of cleaning), are ones that happen every time one or the other comes up. These memories or sentiment are almost interchangeable in my brain now; they are so attached to each other. And myself being so attached to these attachments has made the memories somehow stronger in my mind. Music has weird powers, I don’t dare question. Only enjoy.

The Allure of Christmas Music

I’ll admit, I’m one of those people who loves Christmas music to a fault. I’ve been listening to it since the beginning of November. As evidence of Facebook and Twitter, my cousin Colette (also a huge fan of Christmas) and I have already purchased a tree and decorated it in our room. It is adorable. And now has presents underneath it :)

If you’re a Christmas music purist, as most people are, you can’t stand that stations start playing it in November, and you believe decorations should wait until after Thanksgiving. And in some ways, I understand that. Holidays go in a specific order, so decorations should as well, right? But here’s where I disagree a bit.

Society as a whole has dubbed this the “holiday season.” Meaning all holidays. And the reason I cherish Christmas above all else is the meaning it carries with me. Christmas to me is the epitome of love and family. I enjoy spending the time I have on this planet with the people I love. And I love spoiling them. Seriously. There are fewer joys to me than to see someone I care about open a present into which I put thought and care. People know when someone has put effort into their presents. So for me to be blasting “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” while I’m driving is my way of celebrating that I can’t wait until I get to see the people I love and spend time with them.

So maybe, other people feel the same way I do. That Christmas music to them is an excitement for the time coming. Maybe people think Thanksgiving is just about eating a lot and buying things on sale, with a little bit of thanks on the side. And some football. Or maybe this anticipatory playing of Christmas music is a way for commercialism to push people into buying more presents for people. But personally, give me The Beach Boys Christmas album and a glass of peppermint hot cocoa any day. Because there is nothing more awesome than celebrating my favorite holiday with the people I love.

Super Superhero Films #23-25

For the past few years, the age of the geek (or geek chic) has permeated entertainment. I attribute at least part of this to the success of the Big Bang Theory. Because c'mon, nerds are the bomb! In the geek/nerd love, it was become even more concentrated in the past year or so with superhero films. Superheroes are all the rage/in season/whatever other way you want to describe it. And I LOVE it. As a self-proclaimed "nerdette" (OMG I want a shirt that says that), I adore superhero films. There is something so enjoyable/hot about someone who sacrifices everything to save the world. This summer especially has been rife with hero worship in film.

#23: The Avengers
Before the film came out, I was going to try and see all the films that create background for the characters in the ensemble. Unfortunately, I fell short of this goal (by, well...a lot). So I was hesitant about whether I would be able to follow story lines, given that I might have missed out on some tidbit in one of the films. This was actually not a problem. The story stood alone just fine, and the cast was epic. Robert Downey Jr. reprising his role as Iron Man, Chris Evans reprising as Captain America, Jeremy Renner as Hawkeye, Chris Hemsworth reprising as Thor, Scarlet Johanasson as Black Widow, and Mark Ruffalo as the Hulk were the central characters in the Avengers ensemble. But, the assorted cast that made up the supporting characters were fantastic as well. The central story is that Thor's brother Loki is causing mischief and has otherworld help in doing so. The Avengers need to come together to stop it and save the world. Basic plot line for any superhero story. What sets this film apart is that while it has plenty of action to keep the movie lively, it also has emotional depth for its characters. The internal turmoil for Bruce Banner/the Hulk was played out very well. I was excited to see the film, and I left the theater not only not disappointed, but wanting to see the film again immediately. This has only happened a few times, most notably after both parts of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. In conclusion, I am giving this film a 10 out of 10. Something I have never done, though come close on a few occasions. There really is not anything I would change about this film. It can easily be enjoyed by someone who is not well versed in comic books and can be enjoyed by a younger audience, as well as adults. Fantastic film! I don't want to wait another two years for the second film.

#24: The Amazing Spiderman
As with comic book movies, when a story has already been flushed out before, a new movie can meet with resistance. People who are not comic book readers often do not understand how a story can go off in such a different direction but with the same characters that appeared before. Story arcs in comics can often be confusing. We meet Spiderman/Peter Parker (played by Andrew Garfield *YUM*) while he is still in high school and living with his Uncle Ben and Aunt May (played by Martin Sheen and Sally Field). Instead of forming an attachment to Mary Jane like the previous films, he instead courts Gwen Stacy (played by Emma Stone, my number one girl crush). The villain of the story is the Lizard, a scientist who inhabits reptilian characteristics while trying to genetically grow back is missing arm. The story followed the superhero archetype pretty much to the letter. I give it a 7.5 out of 10. It was a decent movie. The saving grace for me was the chemistry between Andrew and Emma who are a couple in real life. All I can say is that if their interaction on screen is any indication, they must have one hell of a sex life! It also helped that Andrew Garfield is funny. His little quips reminded me of how a teenage boy would really act, superhero or not. It was an entertaining film, though lackluster for me as I've never been a huge Spiderman fan. In my opinion, it was definitely better than Spiderman 3. Spiderman 2 is still good on it's merit, and it's been too long since I saw the original Spiderman to make that comparison.

#25: The Dark Knight Rises
Oh my, what can I say about this film? We return to Gotham after an eight year hiatus. Bruce Wayne (Christian Bale) is still a broken man, and Alfred (Michael Caine) is desperate to get him back into the real world. Criminal beast Bane (Tom Hardy) is already operating in Gotham's underworld, and Catwoman (Anne Hathaway) is making her way through the purses/jewelry boxes of Gotham's elite. Lucius Fox (Morgan Freeman) is trying to save the floundering business investment with Miranda's (Marion Cotillard) company. Meanwhile, the streets seem safe to Commissioner Gordon (Gary Oldman) and Officer Blake (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) but they still go above and beyond the call of duty anyway. Then, mayhem ensues. Can Batman save the city without destroying himself or his future happiness? Can Gotham survive if there is no symbol of hope? I repeat what I did above, another rarity, and give the film a 10 out of 10. I was stunned by the action, the cinematography, and the story. It leaves off somewhat ambiguously. But I again left the theater wanting to see it again straightaway. I did see it again a week later and felt the same way leaving the second time. Stand out performance for me was Anne Hathaway. After growing up on Princess Diaries, I was wary about how she would handle the roll of Catwoman. Well damn if she didn't make me feel like an idiot for doubting her. She flew seamlessly through emotional changes that would make any conman/woman proud. As always, the male cast made me happy. Oldman and Bale again, plus the addition of Gordon-Levitt *SWOON* It is a film that I know I will enjoy seeing again and again. Hopefully it will be in the dollar theater soon. Then I'll just have to hold out for the DVD and whatever Nolan's next project will be.


The tragedy of superhero films is that without a villain, there would be no superhero. Villains can take my forms, and it was with a heavy heart I woke up the morning after the midnight showing of TDKR to see such terrible tragedy befallen. What should have been an enjoyable experience turned into a movie goer's nightmare. Ideology has always been maladapted or twisted to suit the fancy of a murderous crusade. Instead of it being religion, it was this time a character of comic books. My heart goes out to the victims and the families of the victims of Aurora. May they be at peace in a world with no villains, and only superheroes to keep them eternal company. And may justice be done to the villain responsible.

The Supposed Exclusivity of the Term "Best Friend"

I guess I will never understand why people reserve the term best friend to mean only one person. To me, there are a select few people that combined know everything there is to know about me. Each person has a different connection with me but all of them are equally important to me. There are five people I use the term for and truly mean it. These are people who have had my back through thick and thin. People I have held while they cried and they have done the same for me. If any of these people ever exited my life, I would feel such sorrow because it would feel as though a piece of me has gone with them. I have some close friends that I have a very good connection with, though do not see as often or have as in depth relationships as I do with my dearest friends. I guess I mean this to be a tribute to these friends who I am deeply missing since my move and want them to know how I feel. Since telling people how much you care and love them doesn’t happen as much as it should, why not try and change that. The order does not dictate strength of relationship or anything else, only that this was the order I chose to put them in.

My first best friend is my cousin Justene. Since we are only four years apart and our mothers are sisters, we spent a lot of time growing up together. In many ways, we are sisters. We call each other sisters because the relationship, besides sharing a parent, is like a sisterly bond. We fight, we have fun, we come to each other for advice. The hardships we have dealt with separately have in many ways strengthened us, not only in personal strength but strength in our relationship with each other. She is wise beyond her years and had been through more in the past few years than most adults would deal with in a lifetime. And yet, she has come out of it with grace and maturity, and makes me proud to be her big sister.

My second best friend is my darling (ex) roommate and “bro” Michelle. Having met our freshman year, we were still not very close when we moved in together our sophomore year of college, but as time passed and we got to know each other, I found in her a kindred spirit. She can always make me laugh when I am feeling down. Her fire for life and adventure is inspiring, and is one of the things that helped give me courage for my move to Bama. She is one of the warmest souls you’d ever meet; she gives with her whole heart and is always there when I need to talk through something or vent or cry. I’m truly grateful that destiny threw her into my life, well not so much destiny as the Grand Valley blind housing office.

My third best friend is my cousin and (current) roommate Colette. Though not related by blood, we have known each other since we were toddlers. We didn’t get to spend enough time together growing up, but still we formed a very strong relationship. She has so much passion and goes after what she wants with such fervor, it’s awe-inspiring. She truly does kick ass and take names! She’s delightfully witty and funny and can cook like a beast (I don’t know how I’m not 300 pounds). Even though our families have been complicated and messed up, she is always there and helps me to appreciate myself and feel more confident in who I am with her presence. Forget diamonds, cousins are forever!

My fourth best friend is another (ex) roommate Rachel. We went to the same grade school and high school, though our friendship didn’t develop until freshman year art class (haha blowing yarn, sorry inside joke). We eventually became close and I found someone I could talk to about literally anything for hours…and hours and hours. She’s one of the most laid back people I’ve ever met. The ease in which she lives her life translates easily to the ease in her friendships. I can be exactly who I am and know that I won’t be judged. Our late night map nerdiness and even later slurpee runs are some of my favorite memories, and I’m going to miss her even more when she moves to Honduras. Though I know she will have the time of her life helping children.

My fifth, and last, best friend is my nerdy confidant Meredith. We didn’t meet until high school, but her quirky nature and witty sense of humor drew me to her. Through classes and plays, we got to know each other. She turned me into even more of a nerd than I could have anticipated, and I have loved every minute of it. We have shared so many amazing memories. Even just hanging out watching random, weird tv shows, painting our nails, and drinking. Or going to a local park and talking about our zombie plans. Her strength in life is inspiring, and I can always be brutally honest with her and she is with me. She’s such an amazing person to spend time with, but if she does get bit in the zombie apocalypse, I’m going to kill her. And she will completely understand.

These five people have been such an integral part in why I am who I am today. They have each given me strength when I needed it and have been a wonderful addition to my life. I wish desperately that I could see them all the time for the rest of my life. But I know that we are each growing, and going on our own paths in life. So at the very least I want them all to know how much I love them and treasure them. That they will always have a place in my heart as people who have supported me and given me some of the best memories of my life. Without them, I would be a different person today. Without them, I would have missed out on the most amazing years of my life. I will always hold dear the times I have spent with each and every one of you. And I just want you all to know that. As I’m sitting here at work, bored out of my mind :)

#19-22 of My Movie Loving

#19: Titanic 3D
While this movie stunned the first time around in the box office, it was unsure how it would hold up again as a 3D film. Personally, I think the whole 3D remake of older films idea needs to die. Films have enough merit in 2D. Remaking a ton of old films is not going to enhance a lot of older movies. Unless the movie is continually moving and a lot of stuff comes flying at the screen. I don't need to say a lot about plot because if you haven't seen Titanic, you must be living under a rock and therefore lack internet. Basic equation: Rich girl who is engaged + Poor boy who falls in love + Jealous Fiancee who wants their love to die + sinking boat = Titanic. I give this movie a 7 out of 10. The 3D did nothing to enhance the film until the boat hit the iceberg. Then the film provided enough water movement and screaming to create a good 3D film. The only problem I had was that at a certain part of the film water is rushing, the lights are flashing, and the 3D just provided too much. I actually started getting nauseous. But once that subsided, I was fine. So it was good, but mostly based on its original merits.

#20: The Cabin in the Woods
I have started getting more into horror films and when I saw the preview for this, I flipped out a bit. Awesome cast + Joss Whedon (fangirl squee) + horror = OMFG. Cabin follows a lot of stereotypes from films but plays them up to the audience as humor. The film had some genuinely funny parts, included the moment when I said quite loudly, "You bitch." and made the people around me giggle. I give the movie a 9.5 out of 10. While there is an ending that I could have seen done differently, the film provides enough humor to keep the mood light, enough romance to keep it soft, enough gore to please horror fans, and enough twists to please an intellectual. But I can't say anything else in order to maintain integrity. Just go see it, it's awesome I promise.

#21: Tucker and Dale vs. Evil
I had seen this film in pop up ads and decided to investigate it. Upon my pleasure of seeing Alan Tudyk in the cast (More Whedon fanlove), I put the movie on my to see list and presently forgot about it. Every once in a while, it would flit across my Netflix and finally amongst other Whedonites, it was watched. The film is about two hillbillies Tucker (Alan Tudyk) and Dale (Tyler Labine) who have saved up and bought a fishing cabin. On the way up, the duo run into a group of students heading for a camping trip. The students get the impression it's like stumbling into a horror story, while Tucker and Dale think they're just being themselves. Hilarity (and gore) ensue. I give the movie a 7.5 out of 10. It's cheesy in a funny way, and Joss gets some cred. But a lot of the film is predictable and slightly awkward at times. Also besides a couple names, the cast is relatively unknown and rather untested at acting. Overall good movie, but not making any top lists for me.

#22: Malice in Wonderland
Because Carroll's Victorian masterpiece is one of my favorite books of all time, I was both hesitant yet somewhat hopeful to see the film. So when I couldn't decide what to watch one night (all hail Netflix), I played it. The journey of our Alice, played by Maggie Grace, starts with her journey into "Wonderland" which is also kind of London at the same time. Her journey into Wonderland has wiped part of her memory so for the entire journey into Wonderland she's trying to figure out what she knew before she got there. She's aided in her quest by the white rabbit equivalent, which in this case is a cab driver named Whitey. I give the film a 7.5 out of 10. The storyline is extremely complicated to follow at times and there's barely anyone of name in the film, but the visuals are stunning. It's an incredibly complicated, but incredibly amazing imagery of film.

Sex, Society, and the Single Woman

I've been single most of the 23 years I've been alive. Apart from a week and a half long relationship in college, I've gotten used to being single and a virgin. Some of my damaged romantic past is my fault, and some of the fault is certainly on the shoulders of the guys who have treated me like crap (one guy in particular is on my kick-your-ass-if-I-ever-see-you-again list). As I've grown up and matured into the woman I am today, I'm becoming more comfortable in my singledom but also more frustrated at the perception society has about sex.

Society already has power over women by telling them what size their waist should be (I'm personally a fan of size cheesecake) and if that pressure wasn't enough, now society is trying to dictate my sex life. Great, thanks society. Like I don't already have enough issues.

Television, film, and music are permeated with the idea that if you're single, you should be sleeping with random people to find "the one." Am I the only person that sees the flawed logic in this plan? If a guy is willing to sleep with a girl on the first date, he's probably not looking for her to be the one. And this perception is spreading into the minds of girls everywhere. Look how that's going. Shows that focus on girls who get pregnant in high school like 16 and Pregnant and Secret Life of the American Teenage exhibit some of the problems of having children when you're young, but not nearly all the difficulties or statistics. I'm not saying everyone needs to remain chaste until marriage (props to those who do), but sleeping around isn't the answer and it's certainly not a good idea for people in high school who aren't emotionally ready to handle it.

It's extremely frustrating when people tell me, "Oh you need to get laid." Seriously? If I had wanted to get laid, I would've done so already. I told myself that I was going to be in a committed relationship when I lost my virginity and I've stuck to that. I want sex, but I also want intimacy. I want someone to create a bond with emotionally. Not just wham bam thank you, now get out.

Unfortunately, a lot is stacked against me in that regard. My foray into online dating was a great example of this. At the behest of my cousin, I created an online profile and sat anxiously waiting for responses. After some creepy inquiries and straight up invites for a hook up, I changed my profile so the tagline read "If looking for a hook up, need not apply here." My response rate plummeted and I lost interest in the idea of meeting someone that way. Even though eharmony tv ads keep informing me that lots of happy couples meet online.

So guys are looking for sex not intimacy, teen girls are getting pregnant in high school, and people I know think getting laid will fix me. Well that's discouraging.

Recently an article popped up on my facebook or twitter and it was celebrities discussing when they had lost their virginity. Here's some highlights:
Khloe Kardashian 14
Daniel Radcliffe 16
Britney Spears 14
Matthew Morrison 21
Tina Fey 24 (before marriage, but to the guy she's now married to)
Matthew Fox 12
Adriana Lima 27 (yes, the Victoria's Secret model waited until marriage)
Johnny Depp 13
Angelina Jolie 14

So there's a general slutiness about celebrities, but also some who waited. So it's nice to know that some celebrities feel the same about sex that I do. Go Tina and Adriana! I guess my whole point of this blog, besides telling everyone I'm still a virgin, is to give some youth hope that it's ok to wait. More people will say they wished they had waited versus wishing they had lost it sooner. Don't sell yourself short, wait to find someone who is worth that level of intimacy. And always use protection, no matter when you decide to trade your V-card!