Jane Austen Amusement

I wrote this a while ago and it's been clogging up my desktop just sitting there unpublished. So what better time to post it than now?


I adore Jane Austen. Her novels are well written and capture both her historical time and great love stories. But tonight at work, after watching Sense and Sensibility (Alan Rickman as Colonol Brandon....YUM) and Pride and Prejudice (Keira Knightley version, far less amazing as 5.5 hr BBC version), there are few things that stuck out.

People in the era travel around frequently and it was common practice to visit famously wealthy houses. I understand wanting to see big estates. But I find it odd going to visit houses not to see the family but also to see the house when the family is not there. Now, my house is not a grand estate but it would be like someone coming to visit my house while I was on vacation or at work. Does anyone else find that oddly unsettling? I would never allow people to visit my house while I was gone unless I trusted them and allowed them entry for a specific reason. But Lizzy and her Aunt and Uncle visit several estates including Pemberly (*sigh*). But all of a sudden she's shocked when she runs into Darcy. Ok, I understand their history is what makes the greeting awkward, but wouldn't you be shocked if you visited anyone's house and they suddenly showed up? I mean really, the audicity of them to be at their house when they were supposed to be away. I just find the notion of visiting someone's house while they aren't even there to be very vexing, to use Mrs. Bennet's favorite phrase.

One thing I wondered and would love to direct the question specifically to Jane if she was around is what is her issue with the letter "w"? Seriously, in both S&S and P&P (also alliteration), the two villainous (though not purely evil, not good of character) characters have last names starting with a w. Did Austen have a grudge against someone with a w in their last name because I want to know. Add that to the list of fantasy dinner questions.

Oh and also, there are so many people that appear in S&S that have also been in Harry Potter. HP characters include Madame Pomfrey, Trelawny, Snape, Fudge, Fat Lady (1st movie), and Umbridge. There might be more but I lack the capability of checking at the moment.

Another great thing since regency is the advancement of medicine. The idea that blood letting was such an amazing way to fix someone who was sick.....uh, no. Really glad that isn't common practice anymore. Though I am interested in how they got rid of the blood back then. One of those random things I think about sometimes. Does anyone else want to learn a quadrille with me?

What the Duck?

How I Met Your Mother is one of my favorite shows. The witty dialogue, infectious brand of humor, and stellar cast combination (NPH rules) create an intoxicating pleasure to view. In an episode I watched again recently, Robin, Ted, Lily, and Marshall were debating Rabbit vs Duck. Which animal is better? Marshall (much to my enjoyment because I love Jason Segel) said that rabbits were obviously better than ducks. The three others disagreed and wouldn't let it go until he conceded their point. This is where I say: WHAT THE DUCK? Rabbits are by far the better animal than ducks and here are the reasons why.

1) Which animal's foot do you carry for good luck? While I don't support the slaughter of poor bun-buns for their feet, they are good luck charms. How nasty would it be to carry around a duck's foot? People would probably question your involvement in animal sacrifice.

2) Which animal is more cuddly? While importance in cuddliness or quality of the cuddle is not the best way to make decisions (except in boyfriend choosing), I would not snuggle with a duck. Their feathers are oily and they smell. Rabbits on the other hand would be delightful to snuggle with for a while. They are amazingly soft.

3) Which animal is nicer? Ducks are mean. Seriously. They bite you and squawk annoyingly. Do rabbits make annoying noises? No.

4) Which animal has more normal sex organs? Duck penis. Google it. I dare you.

5) Which animal has a better sex catchphrase? You don't hear people saying "Doing it like ducks." #4 is the reason why.

So in conclusion, ducks suck. Rabbits rule all. And with enough sex, they'll overtake us. But they seem like they would be pleasant overlords.

Back Assward Body Image

The feminine form has been a topic of conversation since there were women....and men to admire them. But I can't help notice the extreme change that has occurred since Eve and the apple and that business. If you're not a size 0, you're nothing. Well not nothing, just not hot.

While I'm not promoting the obesity issue currently plaguing American youth, I can't help but think "What kind of body image are we giving to our female youngsters?" While more body conscious ads are becoming popular, it's not enough. Not compared to the repeated Orwellian-like propaganda issued out every pore of American society. Actresses are enough fuel to the fire. Women like Keira Knightley, that one Olsen twin, Nicole Richie, etc, etc. Talent for acting and accumulating wealth aside, Jesus Christ eat an f-ing hamburger!

Is this what we want our future daughters, nieces, and granddaughters to look like? A walking skeleton that either vomits up every meal or doesn't eat at all? Or even the other extreme, a girl so conscious about her weight that she works out constantly? Sure there are actresses standing up for being healthy and curvaceous. Name 10 right now....can you do it? Maybe, but most likely not. If on the other hand I asked you to name 10 women size 0-2, you'd have a field day, nay, a smorgasbord of pickings.

What happened to the times where women with curves where noticed for their ability to carry children? That wide hips were a good thing? That a woman with extra "meat" on her bones meant she was wealthy and ate well? Hmm, I prefer my ass size the way it is compared to a 3rd World nation orphan (not to make slight of their problems, sending them the food you size 0's choose not to eat would be wonderful for everyone, I guess).

I'm not perfect and I don't claim to be. And sure I have my body issues, but knowing that I have child bearing hips (should I choose that route) and curves that differentiate me from the prepubescent boy figure, makes me feel good. Sure, plenty of guys can be shallow about what a girl looks like. This is what I have to say......Fuck them! I love myself and if that means that I'm a size 10 because I choose to eat burgers and fries and ice cream, then bring on the meal, cause baby I'm hungry :)

Time to Change

As most females, eventually I come to point, usually a few months at a time, where I need to change my hair. For my birthday in April, I got it hacked short. Whoo go me! I really love my haircut. But now, sadly, I've grown out the color I used to have and am back to my natural hair color. I think my hair color is nice, it's very diverse. But I'm ready for something different. Thus I call on the inter-verse for guidance.

I'm going to provide three hair colors and I want people to vote. That's all I ask of the people who read this. Ok, here's the options.

1) Excellence to go, Dark Brown, #4
2) Feria, French Roast, #45
3) Excellence Creme, Dark Auburn, 4R











































































So there you go. Cast your votes. Let me know which color you think will be best on me and my mug :)

A Cup of Coffee

I'm starting my morning with a nice mug full of steaming hot deliciousness (i.e. coffee) and I realize that this is my second cup of coffee. Or is it? And I suddenly pondered, when someone says they have two cups of coffee, do they mean two mugs or the measurement of two cups? Because I make four cups worth, but it fits in two and a half mug-fuls. So when someone says "cups" now, I immediately ask myself in my head which one they mean. And I decided this was a worthy blog topic. Drink on, fellow coffee lovers!

A Mind is a Terrible Thing to Screw With

After seeing the epically, mind-blowing film Inception (twice), I decided that I should create a list of why, to me, this movie is awesome. But don't worry, it's spoiler free!

1) The cast

This movie is chock full of amazing actors that make a great, cohesive unit. Leo does well as a the protagonist (tortured soul is second nature for him). Marion Cotillard scared the crap out of me. Tortured is also a great description of her performance. Stand out for me was Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Holy smokes, that kid from Angels in the Outfield grew up GOOD. His snappy quips and even snappier outfits added some nice depth (and hotness) to the film. Ellen Page was charming, though slightly arrogant at times. Tom Hardy was a vision of sarcasm and a foreign accent. Everyone did a fantastic job.

2) The action

From jumping time, to chase scenes, to the premise of the movie itself; action is never missing. I don't want to give away too much of the film so I'll cut this section short, but anyway, dull is one word that cannot describe this movie or its characters.

3) the final reason I love (yet also dislike this movie) is that it messes with your mind in a really BIG way

You cannot think about this movie too much. You will lose your mind and end up in a padded room, donning a straight jacket. It invades your mind (much the way the movie describes, haha Nolan) and it doesn't leave. So enjoy the movie, but yeah, don't think about it too much. You'll gather an obsession with an unspecified object (can't give away the trade secret).


So that is what I have to say for this film. Which pretty much echoes what everyone else is saying, except people who have no taste in movies. Whatever you do, don't trust those people, they're probably artsy-fartsy.

Anyhow, I will leave you now, with this parting thought....what defines your reality?

I feel so un-GLEE-ful

Glee ended it's season on Tuesday, and like other Gleeks around the globe, I tearfully said goodbye until this fall. But I'm not quite ready to let go of my Glee love for the summer. EW released the top ten countdown of best Glee moments. Since I disagreed with some of them, I decided to release a list of my own.

10) Bad Romance
I love GaGa. The performance of BR was fantastic and embodied Lady GaGa fully by the eccentric costume worship. As much as I was in love with Bad Romance, I was completely underwhelmed by Poker Face. But that's ok. One superbly performed GaGa number is better than no GaGa at all.

9) Vogue
Is Sue a pain in the ass? Yes. Is Madonna awesome? Yes. Did the strange combination of the two create a masterpiece? Damn straight.

8) Single Ladies
Who would have ever thought that Beyonce plus football would be such a killer and hilarious mix? Seeing men in giant pads flounce around had me in fits of laughter. Even though I'm not a fan of the song, I enjoyed its spot on the show.

7) Like a Virgin
The mash up of the three different couples preparing to do the horizontal salsa had me giggling yet strangely turned on, which was a weird feeling. It left you wondering who would end up doing the nasty....and then they told you. And it was disappointing.

6) Don't Stop Believing
It's the song that made us fall in love with weird kids who can sing. It made us want to be one of them. Or realize we were already one of them. Also, Journey shot back onto everyone's radar.

5) Sweet Caroline
Puck crooning. SWOON.

4) Journey Mash up
More Journey featured, yes please! Perfect return to the humble beginnings. Plus my fave Journey song was featured in the mash up.

3) NPH singing Dream On
There is nothing more to say.


2) Dream a Little Dream/Safety Dance/Dancing with Myself/Proud Mary....ok, anything heavily featuring Arty
I love Arty. Every song where he is the main singer has delighted me. He needs more solos. Because I love him, and he's awesome.

And the number one is........

Somewhere Over the Rainbow

Will singing. Hot. Will playing Uk. Hot. It was all good.



So there's what I have to say about Glee. I will be trying to maintain my sanity for the summer by watching reruns on Thursday night. I'm currently watching it now, and I've gotten my mom hooked. Win. Gleek on!