Friday, August 8, 2014

Self Love in Today's Society

It’s not a huge shocker that diets are all the rage and body shaming is at an all-time high (or low really, if you think about it).  Society is constantly telling everyone, but especially females, what they need to be, to look like, etc.  So it gets incredibly difficult to be okay with yourself when everything around you is contradictory.

I used to hate myself.  Really, I’m not joking.  I absolutely hated myself.  I didn’t think I was cute or pretty or beautiful.  I was constantly critiquing every aspect of my body.  My stomach wasn’t flat enough or my was butt too big.  My pores on my nose were just huge and disgusting.  My hair was never the right color.  I was smart, but not smart enough.  I didn’t have any useful talents.  Every day, every look in the mirror, all I felt was disappointment and hatred.

And then after a long time and a lot of mental reprogramming, I came to a pretty interesting conclusion.  I decided to love myself.  And tell society to fuck off. 

The road to that realization was long and difficult, but ultimately worth it.  I got sick of thinking I wasn’t enough.  We have a finite number of days on this world, so why was I spending it seeped in hatred and depression?  Not worth it.

So I began to love myself.  I stopped judging myself every time I looked in the mirror.  I stopped calorie counting.  I stopped comparing myself to other women.  I stopped telling myself she was prettier or thinner.  I just stopped.

It wasn't easy.  It was one of the most difficult things I've ever done.  To reprogram my mind to cease being so negative to myself.  I still have moments even now.  I don’t think it is something that will ever completely go away, but it is certainly more contained.

Am I the ideal weight I want to be?  No.  But no longer do I feel the desperate need to lose weight.  I know that a lot of it is trying to fit in exercise, which is my weakness.  I need companionship or I can’t motivate myself enough to do it.  I've learned to love the body I have.  I realized that there are guys out there that don’t care.  Crazy, right?!  Society has been telling me all along that guys only like you when you’re skinny…those fucking liars!  I’m curvy and bodacious and I still had a boyfriend.  So yeah, being skinny does not equal finding meaningful relationships.  And if your partner says you being skinny is prerequisite for the relationship, then he/she’s an asshole.  Anyone worth having in your life will love you for exactly who you are.  Waist size and all. 

The point is to be healthy.  And that means both sides.  On one hand, your food choices should be healthier.  Eat more veggies and fruits, better fats and proteins.  But on the other hand, don’t starve yourself or constantly work out.  Eating disorders don’t just cover “fat” people.  They’ve advanced enough to label work out anorexia.  Stop the I-need-to-lose-three-pounds bullshit.  Don’t be a Regina George!

Also we need to stop shaming each other, “fat” or “thin.”  Those are in quotes by the way, because they are arbitrary terms.  It’s subjective.  We need to appreciate ourselves and other women and men for who they are and what size they are.  I’m goddamn sick of living in a society that doesn’t accept that I’m a pretty awesome person no matter my goddamn jeans size.  Which is a 14, by the way.  Yeah, I got hips and a butt.  And they look damn good.

I’m going up north next weekend to the beach.  And I’m wearing a bikini.  And if anyone has anything to say about that, they can suck it.  Because I love my body and everyone else should accept that.  *insert me giving the middle finger to society here*

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